Last night we had our small group at church. We were talking about hurt and why the heart was the hardest thing to protect in a spiritual sense. The heart is what supplies the nutrients to the rest of our body. If there is something wrong with our heart the rest of our body feels it even if it’s small. So even if someone has hurt us severely, we have to go through the process of forgiving. Forgiving is a mental state, they emotions will be there still, but forgiving is us saying we’re going to make a change to heal. Taking this step is the only way to heal that hurt. God forgives us and embraces us every time. He doesn’t say “I forgive you” but holds us at arms length. Are we forgiving like God does? Only by relying on God can we forgive like him.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4
This goes out to all the single men out there. Choose the woman you marry very wisely! This is the woman that will have your children. The woman that should know the most about you. The woman that will see you at your worst and at your best. The woman that you will share your most intimate moments with.
As men we should pray heavily for the woman that we will marry or have married. Personally, I got married a little later than the norm. I was 36, and although I would have liked to get married sooner, I waited for the right woman that God had for me. God’s timing is the right timing. We should be praying that we are the man she needs. Women are a very different creature from men, which is how God made it. Sometimes it’s hard to understand them, because emotionally we are wired differently. We should pray that we can understand her needs.
What should you pray for?
- Pray for wisdom to lead your family
- Pray that you can protect her (physically and emotionally)
- Pray that we understand her needs
- Pray that you can provide for her
- Pray that you will be able to understand her needs
- Pray that God loves her through you
- Pray that God is always the center of your marriage and that she loves God more than you. This is the most important
Our spouse is the most important human relationship we will have. The amount of prayer and thought that goes into that individual should be plenty. Don’t choose them on a whim! Men don’t choose your wife based on only attraction. Attraction is normal and should be taken into consideration, but we need to be attracted to them mentally and spiritually as well.
Proverbs 1:10: My son if sinners entice thee consent thou not.
This is so straight forward, but so often we fail to adhere to it. When people’s sins look enticing to us we must not get sucked into it. We must be like Joseph, with Potipher’s wife where he didn’t even stick around to be enticed. It would have been easy for him to go down that slippery slope. But how good are we at that? If we want to keep from getting caught up in sin, we have to stay clear from it. This sometimes means we have to lose friends. We all have some friends that have questionable actions. I’ve been there, where I was not living the best life for God, and at one point had to make the choice that it was better to part ways. Your true friends will be happy for you they you are trying to improve, those are the friends you need to keep. The ones that mock you, are only a hindrance in your improvement and a better walk with God. Sin is like sugary candy or soda, its sweet right now but it has no value in our diet. It slowly eats away at us and we start needing more to feed our craving. Then one day we ask ourselves, how did we get so out of shape/rotten teeth/diabetes/etc or in the case of sin, how did we get so far from God? We must be careful with the company we keep.
Proverbs 1:8-9, My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
We should be remembering what our parents taught us growing up, if we had the privilege of growing up in a good home. This shows us the grace God has for us, it gives us wisdom without having to go through the trials. We should be constantly learning. We should be instilling the principles of the Bible in our children so that they will remember them in their time of need. Just like a locket with a picture of a loved that reminds us of them when they are gone, that’s the knowledge we need to instill in the next generation.
How well are we training our next generation? We should be mentoring them so that trouble comes about, they have the foundation to get through it. Nowadays, information is readily available, but it’s wisdom that is needed. Our actions speak louder than the words we say. Do those around us, especially our family see that our words and actions align? My wife talks about how she remembers her dad being up at 5 in the morning praying, each and every morning, no matter what. That has been something that has always stuck in her mind. I remember how my dad would always play ball with me after getting off work when he had put in 14 hour day. He would make time for me, when he probably would have wanted to just sleep. It’s the actions that make memories that stick with us. What actions are we showing people around us, and most importantly our families?
Moses going to the pharaoh is a well know story in the Bible (book of Exodus). God tells Moses to tell the pharaoh to let the Hebrews go, if he doesn’t a plague is unleashed. Pharaoh calls Moses, saying he will let his people go the next day, then his heart is hardened and he ends up not letting the Hebrews go. Repeat this several times and it takes the killing of Pharaoh’s first born to let the Hebrews go.
How often are we like this in our lives? How many times do we know God is putting struggles in our life because we won’t let go? Finally, we get the message and we say that we will let go starting tomorrow. Yet when tomorrow comes around, we have hardened our hearts where we like where we are at. Then we go through the process again, where we have struggles and we tell God again, we will change and let go of our sin. Then we continue to do what we do. We continue to do this over and over until it takes a major wakeup call, as like it did with Pharaoh with the death of his son, to get us to finally do what God was speaking to us to do.
We all do this. We procrastinate changing because we know it’s going to require giving up something, like friends, money, time, etc. When we know it will be better in the long run, but we don’t want to give up what feels good right now. We mean well when we say, we’re going to change for the better, and at the moment we mean it. That’s the problem, we have to react to that moment when we know we need to change. If we don’t, we will never truly change without a major wake up call. We rationalize that it’s better to start on a new day, to start fresh. WRONG! That’s our mind and heart being flawed. We end up not making the change. If we know we need to change our diet at 7 pm at night, eat a healthy snake before bed. If we need to exercise, so some exercise then. If we need to start reading our Bibles, start then. That puts an action to your though, it’s the first hurdle of getting past procrastination and making a lasting change. We are creatures of habit, and we have to start changing our habit right away to encourage a new habit.
If you know a change has to be made for the positive, don’t be like Pharaoh, change now, don’t wait!
What I like about biographies is it’s a way to learn from others struggles, failures, and successes. How did they work through the problems, manage the situation, or handle the highs and lows. We can learn so much from others without going through those trials.
Reading is one of my favorite hobbies. Non-fiction is where it’s at. I think it’s important to continuously learn and improve and that is why biographies are one of my favorite items to read. I have a goal to read a biography about every President, and so far I’m at 22 read. I just started reading, “Hoover” by Kenneth Whyte. Before I started reading this current book, I read “President McKinley” by Robert W. Merry. Not a bad read for the most part, I would recommend it. After reading about a lot of our earlier presidents and some of our founding fathers, I’ve noticed a lot of them had wives that had mental/anxiety issues. Although, they were not perfect men, it has to be commended that they stayed with their wives when it would have been easy for them to put them away and move on with their lives. Just because life got hard, they didn’t quit on their marriage, they kept their commitment. We need more men to say yeah this situation sucks, but these are the cards I was handed and I’m going to make the best of it. It might not be our spouse, it very well could be our current job, other relationships, health, or some other life issue. Whining gets us no where, it just wastes time, and time is our most valuable commodity.
Proverbs 25:2 It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
This is a verse that has stuck out to me for many years. It was the verse that smacked me in the face when I was going down the wrong road, when I wasn’t sure what I believed was true. In short, God doesn’t make everything in his word fully revealed on the first pass. If that was the case, we could read the Bible once and know everything about God. I don’t know how many times I’ve read a passage and the second time around and got something else out of it, and then the third time something else, and so on.
I think this is where we fail many times, especially in our society now. We like information quick, and we don’t even need all the information, just give use the headline, and we’ll assume the rest of the story narrative. This is why news agencies have catchy headlines. Where we do search out for more information is misguided. How much time do we spend looking at the sports page to see what the score was of our favorite team or know the stats by heart of our favorite player? We know the ends and outs of the musicians of our favorite musical group or all the books of our favorite author. We get on social media and discuss and search about our favorite tv show. If you’re me, you spend time searching out some new science discovery. We spend our time doing all this, but will speed read through our Bible (if we even do that) to make ourselves feel good that we did our Christian duty.
God conceals himself in his word, so that we will seek him, we will chase after him. When we’re in a position to find God, searching his word, we’re focused. Just like Earthly relationships, when we meet someone new we asking questions, spend time with them, want to know more about them. This is how we get closer to them. This is how we build a relationship. The more we search in God’s word the closer we get to him. Are you reading and searching God’s word and seeing what he has to reveal to you?
This has been on my mind to do for a couple of years. A place to put down what I get from my study in the Bible that will hopefully be beneficial to all that come across this blog. The intent of this blog is to focus heavily on Proverbs and becoming a better husband, son, and man in general through God’s wisdom. By no means, do I think I know more than anybody else, in fact I feel as I have so much to learn. I hope my journey of drawing closer to God will in some way positively impact someone else. I think there will be beneficial information for both males and females, my main focus will be towards men. In today’s society we see men get tore down. Most tv shows portray men as fools and not worthy of respect. God has a role for both genders, and both are equally important in his creation. God’s word shows us, how to be the men he wants us to be. We have to be willing to study his word to be instructed by him. That’s what this blog is about!